A Little Christmas Fun: Top 7 Creepiest/Awkward Christmas Traditions

Another blog by a fellow mom made me think of this list:

My Top 7 Creepiest/Awkward Christmas Traditions: (In no particular order)

The song, “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”: 

This song is on a CD of Christmas music that I listen to with my kids, and now I have an urge to toss it out the window.  My children are completely confused by this song.  My 5 year old wants to know if the song his about me, his mommy, or about another mommy.  He is extremely concerned that I could be kissing anyone but his father.  My 3 year old has it in her head that it is the father that sees the mother and Santa kissing, so I am picturing a shotgun situation every time she asks questions about it like, “Why is the daddy creeping down the stairs?”

The Elf on the Shelf: 

We have one, and I like that my kids behave better when he is here, but I still think he is creepy.  I am old enough to know that he is not really watching me, but I have seen too many horror movies to really be sure….

The song, “Baby It’s Cold Outside”:

 I truly believe this is a song about a man putting ruphies in a woman’s drink.  Here is an excerpt with the really disturbing part in bold.  For those who are not familiar with the song, the woman is singing the first line and the creepy man is singing the part in parenthesis.

My mother will start worry
                   (Beautiful, what’s your hurry?)
My father will be pacing the floor
                   (Listen to the fireplace roar.)
So really I'd better scurry,
                  (Beautiful please don't hurry.)       Once the flattery doesn’t work…
but maybe just a half a drink more.
                  (Put some records on while I pour.)
The neighbors might faint
                  (Baby it's bad out there.)               He moves on to warning her….
Say what's in this drink?
                 (No cabs to be had out there.)
I wish I knew how
                (Your eyes are like starlight now.)   Meaning, the drugs are working…
to break this spell.

Run. Get some help!

I believe that after this song is over she passes out and my only hope is that her pacing father gets in the car to look for her…

Sitting on Santa’s Lap:

In the days of yesteryear, when people trusted one another, and the culture of fear we Americans have cultivated was still in the future (Thank you Dateline and 20/20… seriously, everything can kill you.), taking your child to sit on a strange man’s lap seemed like the thing to do right before Christmas.  Now, even though Santa might have the best of intentions, I can’t help but feel strange about putting my child on his lap.  I don’t know him… and I am always telling my children not to talk to strangers, but here I am putting my children in Santa’s arms.  Not only that but then I have to pay $20 for a picture of the whole strange situation.

Secret Santa:

Now this tradition is not quite creepy, just awkward as far as I am concerned.  Usually you end up pulling the name of someone you don’t really know very well and then you have to spend an inordinate amount of time trying to figure out what to get said person that doesn’t require you to spend a ridiculous amount of money.  I know there are some terrific secret Santas out there, but I am not one of them.  I know the recipients of my gifts have always been a little confused, maybe even annoyed… like “What was she thinking?”  Can’t we just buy gifts for our friends and families, people we supposedly know and be done with it?

The Office Christmas Party:

 When I was a teacher, our “office” Christmas party was $25 a head (tacky) and “Santa” was the principal who was WAY to interested in people sitting on his lap.  I am sure there are places where people like their co-workers enough to spend $50 on a crappy dinner and sexual harassment, but I have never worked there.   I really feel like there are very few situations where imbibing alcohol with your boss is a great decision, especially since the invention of Facebook.  Wouldn’t most people like to get a check for their share of the expense of the party and then be done with it?  I know I would.  Then maybe I could buy a dress for the party with my friends. 

Reindeer Poop/ Snowman Poop:

Someone actually gave me Reindeer poop last year as a gag/fun gift.  Gag is right!  I understand that other people are probably a lot more fun than I am, but I can not bring myself to eat something fashioned to look like feces.  To each his own, right?  What is next? Easter Bunny poop?  Should I start giving bags of raisins to friends as family as an Easter gift?  I really think there are some things that should just be left well enough alone.

So if you have any ideas about other creepy traditions I would LOVE to hear them!