Kids

Kids
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Monday, January 3, 2011

When I grow up….

When I grow up….

    When I was a little girl I remember an adult telling me that she didn’t really feel grown up.  “You feel the same,” she said,” even when you get old.  Sometimes I catch myself in the mirror and think ‘Who is that old lady?’” I thought she was ridiculous.  I spent my entire childhood waiting to be an adult, and now, at almost 30, I still feel the same way I did when I was 16.  I remember how 30 seemed so old then, and frankly it still feels old to me, but probably because I am in denial.

    I might feel a little older when I figure out what I want to be when I grow up.  I got my undergraduate degree in English and my parents insisted that I get a “practical” degree to go along with it.  I chose a minor in secondary education.  It took me two years to figure out that I didn’t want to be a teacher.  Two pretty miserable years I might add.  I did what any reasonable 24 year old does when they find their first career path to be lacking… I went to graduate school and immediately got pregnant.  I say immediately because I got pregnant somewhere around the second day of classes.  So I finished my graduate degree while pregnant and then with an infant.  My husband was concerned, being in business, that my MA in English with a concentration in writing and rhetoric, wouldn’t have any market value, but I assured him, as any 24 year old would, that there were lots of opportunities for editors in Northern Virginia.  Too bad we moved to Williamsburg, and then later, too bad the market crashed. 

    I have searched for jobs several times in the last three years.  I was hired once, only to be downsized almost immediately.  I had an interview at a local high school, but I can’t say I am upset that I didn’t get that job.  So now I stay at home with my three beautiful children and it is hard for me to think of another way to earn an income in addition to taking care of three children under 5.  I watch another child during the week, and that helps a little, but is hardly a career.  I feel my brain slowly disintegrating. I also have a small editing business, but there aren’t a lot of people looking for editors right now. 

    So now I have been thinking I will start a little sewing business and see where it takes me.  I have been making clothes for my daughter and some Christmas presents.  Surprisingly few people know how to sew and even fewer can make an actual garment.  So I am learning, and sewing, and learning some more.  I have even started to learn to smock.  One of my great-great-grandmothers was a seamstress and supported a whole family with her craft.   So I might just shelve my degrees and become an entrepreneur…or I might change my mind again… I still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up.