Our Elf on the Shelf Disaster…

    I have been desperate this Christmas season to find ways to help my son stay off Santa’s naughty list this year.  He has been atrocious.  My latest idea has been to purchase an “Elf on the Shelf”.  It is a cute idea.  The set ran me a ridiculous $30 for an elf and a book, but as a parent of a naughty boy, there is no price too high for good behavior.  The elf came and Ford named it Elvis.  The book details that there are only two rules: You cannot touch the elf or he loses his Christmas magic and the elf is not allowed to talk to the children.  Ford IMMEDIATELY said that he knew the elf was fake and that he wanted to hold Elvis.  How, might I ask, did I get such a jaded four year old?  Elvis was already on top of the computer armoire when Ford arrived home from school.  I was SURE he would not be able to reach it.  I was wrong.

That evening Ford came running in, triumphantly waving Elvis and yelling, “I have ALL his Christmas magic” in a classic cartoon villain voice.  Nice.  I sent him to his room and hid Elvis and when he came downstairs I said that Elvis had disappeared.  Ford seemed alternately nonplussed and worried that the elf was no longer in the house.  The next morning Elvis was at the top of the Christmas tree with a note from Santa explaining that he was giving Ford another chance to be a good boy.

Unfortunately, Elvis has done nothing to improve Ford’s behavior.    Apparently Ford decides when Elvis can see him and when he can’t.  I forgot to move him to another place last night and Ford was disappointed when he hadn’t moved in the morning.  I told him that the weather had been too dangerous for Elvis to travel to the North Pole.  So at this point I am out $30, am stuck trying to remember to move an elf every night, and my child doesn’t seem to care that Elvis, Santa, God… ANYONE is watching him.  At his age I would have been a neurotic mess trying to make sure I was good for everyone, terrified that Santa or the elf would be disappointed in me.  I can’t decide if I am happy that Ford didn’t inherit my people pleasing tendencies, or if I am just plain tired….

His sister, on the other hand, seems determined to out-do Elvis.  Her climbing skills have really improved in the last month or so, and every time I leave the room I return to find her standing on some piece of furniture, or clinging to a bookcase, or shut in a closet, or emptying the pantry, or stuck behind the couch.  As with her brother, no amount of time out or other penalties seem to phase her.  It is a good thing she is so darn cute.  She doesn’t understand about Elvis yet, but I am pretty sure next year he will be watching yet another naughty child…