Kids

Kids
Easter Pic

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Telephobia...


My mother and sisters are afraid of spiders.  I don’t really mind them if they aren’t crawling on me.  My brother is afraid of people who don’t make maintaining themselves a priority. My husband is afraid of vegetables.  We all have our fears.  The thing that gives me the heebie-jeebies is the phone.  I hate it and I am afraid of it.  There are more people with telephobia out there than you might think. Here are my top 5 reasons why:

5. There is no escape. The cell phone can reach you anywhere.  In the past, when I wanted to avoid someone or a responsibility, I could just stay away from the house and they could call and leave messages, which isn’t the same as saying “no” on the phone.  Most of the time I have to mentally prepare myself to make or receive certain phone calls.  Cell phone calls are kind of like a sneak attack.  I have trouble saying “no”.  Some people can say this word without even thinking about it.  I have found that I can only say it on special occasions and rarely on the phone.

4. Phone stalking.  Everyone has their personal phone stalker.  Sometimes it is that friend that just calls and calls, and other people are married to them.  Sometimes when I am alone I want to be ALONE and the phone makes that impossible.  Rather than take the hint that I have not answered the phone, these lovely individuals just call repeatedly until they get through.

3. I count rings… When I was in high school I worked at a Chinese restaurant called the Lilac Blossom.  The boss was a total tyrant and used fear and humiliation to get us to work harder.  When you were a hostess you were only allowed to let the phone ring three times.  If it rang more than that you KNEW she was going to be right around the corner to tell you how lazy you were, [loudly] “Izbae (she couldn’t pronounce Elizabeth), whya your sista smarrta than you?  What you do up there?  Maybe I call your sista and she do your job? The phone ring 4 times, disturb whole restaurant, you answer right away.”  So at home, when I am running for the phone, I am counting wondering if a short, dictatorial Chinese woman is going to pop out of one of my closets if I don’t answer it in three rings.

2. You can’t read people over the phone.  They say that 80% of communication is visual.  You can see people’s expressions and their eyes to see if they are agreeing with you or just paying you lip service.   I put my foot in my mouth constantly and I count on visual cues to let me know that I need to apologize, retract my statement, or retreat.

1.  I learned it from my mom!  Ok, so we blame a lot of things on our parents, but this one I can definitely claim.  When we were little it was our job to answer the phone.  I don’t think my mom ever did it.  We had to say, “Hello, this is the Rennix residence, how may I help you?”  We would then tell my mother who was calling, since the phone was rarely for us.  I think we eventually saw that my mother would tense up when she was on the phone and use her “mom on the phone” voice.  When I was older I could even tell who she was on the phone with based on how natural her voice was.  I think every mom masters that transition of, “(angry/frustrated) Haven’t I told you… ring ring… never to… ring ring… climb on the furniture.  Go to your room…ring ring… (sweetly) hello?”  I will say that caller ID has made phones much easier to navigate, but I always feel terrible when I screen a call…


So now that everyone I know that reads this blog knows I am neurotic, and that it is my mother’s fault, I am ready to overcome my fear.  On Friday I will officially become a Pampered Chef consultant, and I will have to use the phone every day to call people I don’t know and ask them things.   I am hoping that my anxiety will eventually ebb, and maybe by the time I am ready to re-enter the work force I won’t have to filter my job search by phone use…

Friday, April 1, 2011

The Debt Monster


About two months ago I was looking at our budget and I thought to myself, “Things have got to change.” We can never seem to get ahead.  When we moved to Williamsburg the economy was just starting its downward spiral.  We went from making money every time we sold a house to not being able to sell our house.  We went from steady raises and big bonuses to no raises and smaller bonuses.  When we bought our house we bought down points and got an interest only loan.  It seemed smart at the time.  We didn’t plan on living in it for more than 5 years.  We had our sights set on a gated community.

Now reality…

We are not irresponsible with money.  We have never bought anything we couldn’t afford the payments for… but we also have always spent ALL of our money.  We always planned to put more away for retirement and save for the kid’s college, but unless we find a money tree, the likelihood of us finding hundreds of extra dollars isn’t too high.

So things needed to change.

We bought a book, started a debt snowball, and we are now about a year away from paying off all of our debt.  When that is done we will start seriously saving for retirement and the kid’s college funds.  While I am grateful that we are moving in the right direction, the only thing that I keep thinking is that I wish we had started this sooner.

This is why….
I will use my brother Christopher as an example… he is 25 years old.

If Christopher would like to retire at 65 he as 40 years to save for retirement.  If he would like to retire on, let's say 50,000 a year (which wouldn't go too far, but it is a round number) he would need 625,000 to have that amount per year when he retires.  In order to save that money he needs to put way 178.75 EVERY month until he is 65.  He SHOULD be contributing at least that into his 401K but it is important, even as young as he is, to open a Roth IRA as well.

Paul is closer to 40 years old.  We would like to retire on 100,000 a year (hopefully the house will be paid off by then).  That means we need a nest egg of $1,250,000.   If we want to retire with that amount we need to put $1313.75 away EVERY month... which honestly is not going to happen.  Do you see how important it is to save early?  If Christopher wanted the same retirement he would need to put 357.50 away every month....  We already put 400 a month away, but we are going to up that to 700.00 a month when our debt is paid off, which will give us about 60,000 a month when we retire.  Hopefully, when I start working again we will be able to put away more.

We also need to plan for college…. We have three children and I would like them to be able to go to school relatively debt free.    We will promise the kids 4 years of college and 15,000 every year.  If they want to spend more it will be on their dime. 

60,000 per kid…  249.48 a month for Ford, and 155 each for Grace and Lily.  We need to put away $560 a month for college. 

And the GRAND TOTAL is… $ 860 extra dollars a month for retirement and college savings.  Any money left over will be put in savings…. I guess the good news is that after our car is paid off we will have that much extra money to work with.  I just wish we had thought about all this sooner!

If you want more information about how we started our debt snowball look here..